Struggle with depression

Sometimes you never feel good enough. That everything you’ve ever planned has been ruined and you’ll never go back to where you once were. You drop lower and lower with each bully, heartbreak, and even death. You’re so bad at everything you do that you even failed at your suicide attempt. The more people beat you down, the lower you get. All you want to do is die because nobody will listen or they’ll listen and judge you. Every time you’ve reached out for help they always say you’re fine. It’s just a phase. That your desire to leave this earth will pass in time, when reality you just want the pain to stop. You don’t care for the outcome after as long as your heart and mind stop. You stopped reaching out because the judgment and put downs. You stopped opening up because every time you do, that person leaves like the rest. You stopped trying because every time you lift yourself back up someone pushes you back down ten times harder. You give up. You put a guard up. You don’t open up anymore. You always say you’re fine because everyone always says you’re fine. You stop feeling because you know that emotion is the whole reason you’re here now. You want to stop breathing. You want to be put out of your misery. You just want to go away and let the darkness capture you. You hurt so deeply. There’s nothing anyone can say or do because you already gave them the chance to help yet they did Nothing, but hurt you more. You won’t listen. You finally just let go and sink. 


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